Ordinary time, rat moms, and God

Photo credit: © Eric Isselée

So here we are, back in ordinary time, the short “green season” before Lent. It’s below zero outside but the light is getting longer. Time for meandering thoughts about family life and the well-being of our children and God’s passionate love for us.

I’ve been reading a book called How Children Succeed by Paul Tough, and I’m fascinated by the theology of it (I’m sure he wouldn’t phrase it that way). He says that adults who live fulfilling lives began as kids with “grit, curiosity, and character.” Being settled and fulfilled as a grown-up isn’t about IQ or expensive education, but instead begins by being demonstrably loved in the first year of life. Early parental love is what allows children to develop grit, curiosity, and character.

Tough provides a lot of scientific data to back up his premise. He writes about Michael Meaney’s study of rat moms who groomed their babies and those who didn’t, and of how the rat babies who received physical attention were more resilient, more confident, and calmer when faced with later testing. Clancy Blair, a psychologist at NYU, then followed over 1200 infants and discovered that even the chaotic, noisy, crowded conditions of poverty had limited effect on babies whose mothers were responsive and attentive to them. Loving, physical attentiveness has long-lasting, DNA-related effects. The message? Hold your babies. Hug your kids. (Didn’t we already know that?)

I find it fascinating, and, I admit, at some level poignant that science is just now discovering what Christians have always known: Love is the foundation. Scripture tells us that God is Love, and what the Incarnation did was bring God tangibly among us, to share human life, human touch – and to leave us with the very tangible Eucharist. God isn’t just the amazing creator of the universe (more on God and quantum physics another time), but the one who week by week touches us through the bread and wine of the sacrament.

So what’s the lesson for this mid-winter ordinary time? Snuggle up. Sounds good during this deep freeze. Read together. Bake bread together. Snuggle up some more. Tell stories. Hold your babies. Hug your kids. Love them.