Eggs, whales, and butterflies: more Easter preparation

                                                    photo from www.plainvanillamom.com

Let's start with the most basic of all Easter activities: dying hard boiled eggs.  Although the intricate designs of Ukrainian eggs are famous, another tradition of the Ukraine is to dye eggs in a single bright color.  For a step by step explanation of how to do this, check out <http://www.plainvanillamom.com/2012/04/coloring-easter-eggs-with-food-coloring.html>. Before your Easter dinner, have the children place the eggs in the containers of newly grown grass (from last week's suggested activity).

Historic note:   During the Middle Ages when infant mortality was high, bereaved mothers in the Ukraine took comfort during Easter by sending something tangible to the souls of their children. They told the story of the Blazhenni, spirits who live on the edge of the world where all the streams and rivers come together; these Blazhenni, they believed, were the souls of unbaptized babies.  On Easter, grieving mothers would throw the shells of red-dyed eggs into nearby rivers and streams, believing that when the shells reached the Blazhennni, they would know that it was Easter and they, too, could celebrate.  The Blazhenni were gentle spirits who ate no meat, except on the day the red shells reached them. 

           

Another activity in preparation for Easter is to decorate an Easter Tree with ornaments of eggs, whales, and butterflies.  Choose a tree or shrub in the yard, or bring a branch indoors to use as your Easter Tree. In preparation for making whale decorations, tell the children the story of Jonah and the whale (read it from Scripture, paraphrase it on your own, or use one of the many picture books -- Amazon lists 1, 618 versions of this story!). Jesus told his followers: “For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the whale, so will the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.” No wonder the early church celebrated the story of Jonah and the whale as symbolic of Jesus’ death, entombment, and resurrection!

           

Then as the children work on butterfly decorations, tell them about the metamorphosis of caterpillars into moths and butterflies through the seeming tomb of the cocoon, and tell them that the butterfly--also symbolic for the early church--is still used today to represent Jesus’ resurrection.  Both Golden Books and Scholastic Books offer readable explanations and clear illustrations of the metamorphosis, or you could read Eric Carle’s lively classic, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. 

            

If you haven’t talked about eggs while coloring them, do so as they make egg ornaments. Since ancient times, eggs have been symbols of fertility and new life.  Many cultures believed that the world began as an egg; the Hindus, for example, said that the “World-Egg” was formed in “the waters of chaos” before the beginning of time.  Christians adopted the egg as an Easter symbol because, like the dry, hard seed that brings forth new plant life, seemingly hard eggs bring forth new animal life.  In both cases, what seems dry and hard and dead actually contains new life.  This hiddenness is part of the strangeness and surprise of Easter itself. 

           

For activities that echo this theme of hiddenness, have an old fashioned Easter egg hunt, either with hard-boiled eggs or with foil-covered  chocolate eggs.  Be sure to have extras to pass out at the end so that the less successful hunters don’t have empty baskets or bags.  (If the successful egg-hunters complain, tell them the parable of the laborers in the vineyard from Matthew 20; or use Dina Strong’s retelling of this parable in her book The Vineyard and the Wedding.)  Another option would be to get a piñata that holds hidden treasures; if you can’t find piñatas locally, you can online -- eggs, whales, and butterflies! Hang the piñata from a high place, and take turns blindfolding the children and having them swing a broomstick or other long stick at it (remember to have everyone else stand far back while this is going on). When a child finally manages to break open the piñata, all the children get to gather and share the goodies. 

Watching the grass grow: helping children get ready for Easter

Looking at Lent as a purely penitential season isn’t helpful for children, who often have an exaggerated sense of guilt to begin with. My very first memory involves getting in trouble for picking our neighbors tulips when I was three years old. And when I was a little older, I spent years praying to be forgiven for pocketing a penny I found at a cousin’s house.

While it’s important to acknowledge that we don’t always get things right or behave as we should, it’s also essential to let children know that God loves and forgives, always. Nothing we can do can separate us from God’s love. We always have a chance at new beginnings.

That’s why I’m going to use Lent as a time to suggest ways to get ready for the celebration of Easter rather than provide specific activities for Lent itself.

I’m starting with this first activity because it takes time to prepare – and then there’s the waiting.  We’re going to grow grass.

A week or ten days before Easter, have the children plant wheat grass seeds in small containers such as paper cups or small bowls.  You can check with health food stores for whole wheat seeds (sometimes called wheat berries), or you can get wheat grass seeds to grow for indoor cats from your local pet store.  Here are a couple of online options:

·      * hard red wheatberries: http://www.bobsredmill.com/hard-red-wheat-berries.html

·      * cat grass from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Cat-Grass-Seeds-15-grams/dp/B0012YEKCW

You will also need potting soil to put in the small containers. These containers of grass can then be used as nests for colored eggs and put at everyone’s place at the table for Easter dinner. There's something alive and lovely about growing grass indoors.

For an art activity before you fill the containers and plant the seeds, have the children decorate their containers with pictures of grass or flowers or the sun or bright abstract designs--whatever pleases them.  They can make the designs on paper and tape or glue them to the containers, or they can work directly on the containers themselves if the surface allows. 

Once you have seeds, potting soil, and decorated containers, here’s what to do:

·      * soak the seeds in water overnight 

·      * plant them in small containers of potting soil

·      * water enough during the week to keep the soil damp

Before or after the children plant the seeds, you can teach them the Easter song  “Now the Green Blade Rises.”  Below are three different presentations of the song.

·      * with guitar accompaniment: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIPc8Ycl638

·      * by a college quartet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP9HG8qIgnc

·      * Ely Cathedral choir: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27p98aLPZPI

Slightly varied versions of the lyrics can be found:

·      * http://www.hymns.me.uk/now-the-green-blade-rises-hymn.htm

·      * http://www.wischik.com/damon/Songs/greenblade.html

·      * http://adventisthymns.com/lyrics/175-now-the-green-blade-rises

Where I live in Maine, some years the grass outside is buried under snow until long after Easter.  One year when the snow was especially deep, I planted wheat grass seeds in a ceramic bowl and took it to school where it spent a month on my desk. Adolescent students in my English classes would walk by and touch the growing grass, pat it, run their hands over it. That small container of earth and green evoked such longing for spring in all of us that it seemed a sacred thing in a very secular place.

Now the green blade riseth from the buried grain,

Wheat that in dark earth many days has lain;

Love lives again, that with the dead has been:

Love is come again, like wheat that springeth green.

“Chemistry is not destiny” (thoughts in preparation for Lent)

When I was growing up, we were supposed to spend the 40 days of Lent contemplating all the ways we sinned, all the ways we failed to measure up – not easy for a kid, and probably not healthy either, unless it was balanced by the constant reminder that even if we snuck that extra cookie or harbored thoughts of putting piranhas in our neighbor’s bathtub, God loved us and was willing to forgive us.

The Baptismal Covenant in the Episcopal prayer book asks, “whenever you fall into sin, [will you] repent and return to the Lord?” The assumption is that of course we will sin. As Christians, however, we are to understand that our capacity for egregious behavior does not determine our destiny. Salvation is not only possible, but promised.

And what does all this have to do with parenting? Or chemistry? 

I want to start with another quotation from Paul Tough’s How Children Succeed: “scientists have demonstrated that the most reliable way to produce an adult who is brave and curious and kind and prudent is to ensure that when he [or she] is an infant, his hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis functions well.” That’s the chemistry part, and it happens when parents provide nurturing attention to their infant. (I wrote more about this back in the post on “Rat moms.”) 

But if babies don’t receive this early tending, teachers, clergy, social workers, and neighbors -- as well as the parents themselves – can later intervene in ways that help build character, all the way through adolescence. “Chemistry is not destiny,” Tough writes. That means that the times we unintentionally caused pain or neglected our kids don't have to result in irreparable damage to their character. Our children can still become brave and curious and kind….even if we haven’t always been so ourselves. We can try to do better, and we can not only allow but encourage others to help. 

This strikes me as one of the lessons of Lent: just as the body chemistry established in infancy doesn’t have to determine our destiny, neither do our piranha-like tendencies have to determine our relationship with God.  In both cases, redemption is possible. -- On the other side of Lent, after all, is the resurrection promise of Easter.

Note: once we move into Lent itself, I will begin posting ideas for crafts and activities families can do in preparation for Easter. Despite having its own liturgical color, Lent is not a stand-alone season but always looks to the promise of Easter.

The sins of the fathers…and quantum physics

One of my daughters-in-law recently shared a CNN article about the increasingly devastating effects of Agent Orange on children in Vietnam and the grandchildren and great-grandchildren of American veterans of that war.  The deformities get worse; what we did then affects those being born now.

Reading the article brought to mind the words from Scripture about how the “sins of the fathers” will be visited upon the children for generations to come. I used to think this was meant to describe the actions of a stern and terrifying God, but I realize now that it simply describes what actually happens: our children inherit the unintended consequences of our behaviors. Generationally, they live with climate change and national debt and, if their grandfathers were exposed to Agent Orange, with the potential for inheriting debilitating deformities.

Once again, here is a place where Scripture and science agree: everything is interconnected. As the physicists say, “Action in one place, even at a distance, affects action in another place” because “at a level we can’t discern, there is an unbroken wholeness.”*  As St. Paul says, “If one member of the body suffers, we all suffer together.”

This interconnectedness, by the way, isn’t just about the bad things; it embraces the good as well.  The smile, the vote, time spent reading to a child, faithfully going to a difficult job, raising money or awareness for a good cause – all these, too, have far-reaching effects.  Everything -- the physicists say, Jesus says -- everything is interconnected.  “Whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me,” across time, across space, across generations.

So what should we do today to tend our children – and the universe? We can’t do one without affecting the other because they are, after all, part of an unbroken wholeness, all of it held together in God. 

*(from Margaret Wheatley)

Let the Little Children Suffer? Sometimes….

I want to look again this week at Paul Tough’s book How Children Succeed, this time about how responsive, calm, affectionate attention helps children become “more self-confident, more curious, and better able to deal with setbacks” – especially that “dealing with setbacks” part.  I hate that part. I look at my two infant grandchildren and don’t ever want them to suffer.

The importance of holding and loving our babies is pretty easy compared to watching them – letting them – face failures and setbacks and suffering as they grow. I wanted to wrap my own children in protective gauze when they were little. When my first was about two months old, I had him in a front-carrier with a cape wrapped around us both to shield him from Colorado’s winter wind. A friend stopped me on the street and said, “I thought you’d already had your baby!”  I unwrapped the cape and commented, “I’m now wearing him on the outside.” I remember another friend whose baby weaned herself at 15 months; “I would have nursed her till she went away to college,” was the mom’s wistful response. We both clearly had that “hold and love” part down pat.

Reminder:  We are all beloved children of God.  As one of the brothers from the Society of St. John the Evangelist commented, there are no “adults of God.”  That doesn’t, however, mean that we get to stay un-weaned infants. God wraps us in love, yes – but then sends us out, as parents need to send their children out of their safe and nurturing arms.  (Sigh.)  Paul Tough cites Dominic Randolph: “…the best way for a young person to develop character is for him [or her] to attempt something where there is real and serious possibility of failure, [where] you’re also more likely to achieve real and original success. The idea of building grit and building self-control is that you get that through failure.” Ouch.

We don’t like watching our children fail, or fall, or suffer.  On the other hand, we want them to flourish, to have courage and self-control and grace under pressure.

What does Scripture say here? Look at dear, bumbling Peter. He failed, losing faith, sinking in the water, denying even knowing our Lord. But he became the Rock on which the church was built. Or consider Jesus himself. By any human measure, he failed. Certainly he suffered untold, unbearable agony. “Setbacks” doesn’t begin to describe his Passion. And yet, out of his arrest, torture, death – out of seeming failure – the Church was born.  Only through suffering and death is resurrection possible.

So what does that mean for how we tend our children (and grandchildren) as they move beyond infancy into childhood? Once again, protective gauze sounds like a good option – but, according to both science and Scripture, not for the long haul.  We need to let them fail, let them enter situations that involve potential setbacks, where they might (I hate this) suffer.

Providing calm, responsive, loving attention throughout such childhood endeavors as Chutes & Ladders, hide and seek, Monopoly, music lessons, chess, competitive sports, competitions in the arts, spelling bees, tough classes – all these are ways to let kids know that life sometimes involves losing. Because, no matter how much we love them, they will lose. They will fail. They will suffer. If they can’t do that at home and in the neighborhood and at school, they won’t know how to face the bigger, scarier setbacks ahead. Our job isn’t to protect them, but to encourage and support them.

Ours is a faith built on seeming-failure, one that doesn’t see even death as the end. What science and Scripture agree is that out of such suffering comes new life, strength of character, the capacity to survive, gratitude, determination – and, ultimately, fullness of life. 

Ordinary time, rat moms, and God

Photo credit: © Eric Isselée

So here we are, back in ordinary time, the short “green season” before Lent. It’s below zero outside but the light is getting longer. Time for meandering thoughts about family life and the well-being of our children and God’s passionate love for us.

I’ve been reading a book called How Children Succeed by Paul Tough, and I’m fascinated by the theology of it (I’m sure he wouldn’t phrase it that way). He says that adults who live fulfilling lives began as kids with “grit, curiosity, and character.” Being settled and fulfilled as a grown-up isn’t about IQ or expensive education, but instead begins by being demonstrably loved in the first year of life. Early parental love is what allows children to develop grit, curiosity, and character.

Tough provides a lot of scientific data to back up his premise. He writes about Michael Meaney’s study of rat moms who groomed their babies and those who didn’t, and of how the rat babies who received physical attention were more resilient, more confident, and calmer when faced with later testing. Clancy Blair, a psychologist at NYU, then followed over 1200 infants and discovered that even the chaotic, noisy, crowded conditions of poverty had limited effect on babies whose mothers were responsive and attentive to them. Loving, physical attentiveness has long-lasting, DNA-related effects. The message? Hold your babies. Hug your kids. (Didn’t we already know that?)

I find it fascinating, and, I admit, at some level poignant that science is just now discovering what Christians have always known: Love is the foundation. Scripture tells us that God is Love, and what the Incarnation did was bring God tangibly among us, to share human life, human touch – and to leave us with the very tangible Eucharist. God isn’t just the amazing creator of the universe (more on God and quantum physics another time), but the one who week by week touches us through the bread and wine of the sacrament.

So what’s the lesson for this mid-winter ordinary time? Snuggle up. Sounds good during this deep freeze. Read together. Bake bread together. Snuggle up some more. Tell stories. Hold your babies. Hug your kids. Love them.

Jesse Tree: The Story of John the Baptist

Elizabeth was Mary's relative and a descendant of Aaron, but like Sarah she had grown old without having any children. Her husband Zachariah was a priest, and one day as he was burning incense in the temple, an angel appeared to him and told him that he and Elizabeth would have a child. Their son was John the Baptist, who prepared the way for Jesus, and who baptized Jesus at the start of his ministry:  
     "Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized [by John] and was praying, the heaven was opened, and the Holy Spirit descended on him like a dove."

Luke 1:5-24, 3:21-22

Potential ornaments for the Jesse Tree: a bee (because John ate wild honey), a dove (for the Holy Spirit)

This is the last posting for the Jesse Tree. Tomorrow begins a new chapter in salvation history: the birth of Jesus, the Holy Child who became our Savior. The long wait is over; Christmas is here. May the blessings of this holy season bring peace to your hearts and your homes. 

For those wanting to extend the Christmas season, visit starofwonderepiphany.com and look at the left hand column for crafts, games, foods, music, and a family meal to celebrate Epiphany: the coming of the Wise Men who followed a star to find the Holy Child.

Jesse Tree: The Story of Joseph and the Angel

Joseph, a carpenter, a good and righteous man, was greatly troubled when he learned that Mary was pregnant, but an angel of the Lord came to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." And so Joseph married Mary.

Matthew 1:18-25

Potential ornament for the Jesse Tree: a saw

Jesse Tree: The Story of the Annunciation

Many years after the people of Israel had returned from Babylonian captivity to their own land, Rome claimed Israel as part of its Empire. It was during this time of Roman occupation that God sent the angel Gabriel to the town of Nazareth in Galilee "to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary." The angel told Mary that she had been chosen by God to bear a child, "and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High...the Son of God." Mary answered the angel by saying, "Here I am, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word."

Luke1:26-38

Potential ornaments for Jesse Tree: an angel, a lily (symbol for Mary)

Jesse Tree: The Story of Daniel in the Lion's Den

During the time of exile in Babylon, the Israelite Daniel served under King Darius.  When the king signed a law that any  person who prayed to anyone, divine or human, besides the king himself should be "thrown into a den of lions," Daniel continued to pray to God.  He was caught by men who were jealous of him and brought before the Babylonian king.  Now King Darius was distressed because he liked and respected Daniel, but the jealous men reminded him that no law the king had made could be changed, so Daniel was thrown into the lions' den.  The king spent the night fasting, and in the morning "the king got up and hurried to the den of lions."  Daniel was alive!  He said to King Darius, "My God sent an angel and shut the lions' mouths so that they would not hurt me."  The king freed Daniel and threw his accusers to the lions instead.  Then he wrote to all his people, advising them to "tremble and fear before the God of Daniel:  For this is the living God, enduring forever."

Daniel 6

Potential ornament for the Jesse Tree: a lion

Jesse Tree: The Story of God's Promise to the People in Exile

During the time of exile, when the people of Israel had been captured in war and taken to Babylon, the Lord spoke to them through the prophet Jeremiah.  Even though it was their disobedience that had led to their captivity, God grieved over the people of Israel and promised a new covenant, a new beginning:   "It will not be like the covenant that I made with their ancestors when I took them by the hand to bring them out of the land of Egypt--a covenant that they broke, though I was their companion, says the Lord.  But this is the covenant  that I will make with the house of Israel after these days,             says the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people."

Jeremiah 31:33-34

Potential ornament for the Jesse Tree: a heart

Jesse Tree: The Story of Elijah and the Ravens

Many years after David and Solomon reigned, Ahab became king of Israel.  He was an evil king: "Ahab did more to provoke the anger of the Lord, the God of Israel, than had all the kings of Israel who were before him."  Ahab even let his wife Jezebel talk him into serving false gods.  During this time, the Lord spoke through the prophet Elijah, telling Ahab that because of his wickedness "there shall be neither dew nor rain these years, except by my word."  The land became dry and parched, but God sent Elijah to live in the wilderness east of the Jordan River, and God sent ravens to bring food to Elijah every morning and every evening.  The drought lasted three years, and in all that time, God continued to look after Elijah.

1 Kings 17:1-7

Potential ornament for the Jesse Tree: a raven 

Jesse Tree: The Story of Solomon's Temple

David ruled Israel for many years.  His son Solomon, who was known to be a very wise man, became king after David's death.  "God gave Solomon very great wisdom, discernment, and breadth of understanding as vast as the sand on the seashore."  While Solomon was king , he began to build an enormous temple to God.  It was filled with beautiful carvings, and even the floors were overlaid with gold.  When it was finished, he dedicated it to the Lord, and the Lord said to Solomon: "I have consecrated this house that you have built," and God promised to dwell there for as long as the Israelites kept the commandments.

1 Kings 6:1-38

Potential ornament for the Jesse Tree: a temple

Jesse Tree: The Story of David's Annointing

The boy Samuel grew up to be a great prophet.  At this time Saul was king over Israel, but Saul did not obey what God commanded.  So God spoke to Samuel: "How long will you grieve over Saul?  I have rejected him from being king over Israel.  Fill your horn with oil and set out; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have provided myself a king among his sons."  (Jesse, remember, was the grandson of Ruth and Boaz. He's also the one who gives the Jesse Tree its name.)  So Samuel went to Jesse's house in Bethlehem.  God said to Samuel, "The Lord does not see as mortals see; they look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart."  Instead of choosing any of the older, stronger sons, God chose the youngest boy, David, saying to Samuel, "'Rise and anoint him; for this is the one who will be the next king.'  Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers; and the spirit of the Lord came mightily upon David from that day forward."

1 Samuel 16:1-13

Potential ornaments for the Jesse Tree: a horn of oil, a crown

Jesse Tree: The Story of God's Voice in the Night

Samuel was a young boy who served God in the temple under the direction of Eli, an aging priest.  One night Samuel heard a voice call him by name, "Samuel!  Samuel!" and he said, "Here I am!" and rushed to see what Eli wanted.  But Eli had not called him.  This happened three times.  "Then Eli perceived that the Lord was calling the boy," so he told him next time to answer, "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening."  And the next time Samuel heard his name called in the night, he answered to God, and was given a vision of the future.

1 Samuel 3:1-18

Potential ornaments for the Jesse Tree: an oil lamp, a candle